BleachYu Yu hakusho Crossover Drabbles
by insane-but-not-crazy
Summary: A bunch of BleachYu yu hakusho crossover drabbles as written by two very bored authoresses, cause BleachNaruto is so LAST SEASON. Written in collaboration by: Ashiko, and Riza. Enjoy!


Title: The Under appreciated Beautiful Mans Club

Word count: 2729

Show(s): Bleach/YuYu Hakusho

Description: The pretty men of the spirit world are feeling a little unloved by their peers so they get together and talk about it...like REAL men.

Rating: PG-13 for foul language and suggested man-touching

Warnings: There is quite a bit of OOC'ness in this especially where Shishi Wakamaru is concerned.

--

Well he had made it, the 11th squad 5th seat stood outside of a set of large oaken double-doors. It took a while but he finally found the meeting hall that the flier had instructed him to.

_Madarame and Ayasekawa restlessly strolled down the back streets of seireitei. Ikkaku being especially irritable over the fact that he hadn't seen a good battle in a long while._

"_Hey...Ikkaku-san...do you think I'm pretty?"_

_there was a pause._

"_What?"_

_Yumichika gave a frustrated glance toward his friend's OBVIOUS stupidity. _

"_Do you think I'm pretty?" His voice impatient._

"_Woah woah woah...we ain't getting into any o' that fruity shit now are we? Cause I thought we had been over this—I do NOT like you in that gay ass fashion."_

_The look that he received from his long time friend was almost freighting in an "I will kill you if you don't back away" kinda way._

"_That is NOT what I meant...but thank you for reminding me." Yumichika huffed irritably. "Sheesh, no one around here appreciates my overwhelming beauty...you all expect me to rush in and get all dirty in stupid fights against ugly people, and I just—HEY! Are you listening to me Ikkaku!" _

_His bald friend turned to face him once more. "Huh? Yeah yeah whatever. I hear ya."_

_Ayasekawa thrust his arms downward with an infuriated grunt, "See this is exactly what I'm talking abo--" _

_SMACK!_

_A stray piece of parchment connected itself to Yumichika's thoroughly pampered face. _

"_Gah! Get it off! It's mussing up my beautiful complexion!"_

_Ikkaku snatched the tattered page away from over his whining companion's eyes._

"_Fuck is this?" He mumbled boredly beginning to read aloud, "Are you pretty? Feeling under appreciated? Then join the under appreciated beautiful mans club...we have—ah s' fuck is this shit!? What kinda panty-waist pansy ass motherfu--"_

_A loud gasp immediately came from the frilly man beside him, who then proceeded to quickly steal the paper away once more. Is eyes locked onto the page with intensity as he quickly scanned the words._

"_You ain't seriously thinkin' of joinin' that wussy shit are ya?"_

_There was no response._

"_Ey, Yumi."_

_silence._

"_Yer ugly."_

_silence. _

"_Ah fuck this shit, I'm gonna go kill sumthin'." Not waiting for a response Ikkaku started to walk away and he was not ten feet away when the sharp pain of a rock smashing into the back of his skull hit him._

_Whirling around, hands gripping his head he glared at the now departing Ayasekawa. _

"_S' fuck was that for!?" _

"_For calling me ugly, asshole."_

_Ikkaku paused._

"_Che. Whatever."_

And now he was there, the prettiest of the eleventh squad stood outside the doors of a large, storage-like building, the flier still gripped in one hand. But before he could even take another step forward the doors swung open and he was met by the tall figure of a slightly toned blond man with slightly mussed spiky hair. But he had to admit as scruffy as he looked, the other gentleman was quite...man-pretty.

"I got your fly--" Ayasekawa paused as in the blink of an eye the other man was in front of him pulling his shirt forward and glanced down it a moment, seeming to be searching for something, before releasing him and taking a step back.

"Alright, you check out. Name's Suzuka."

"Um, Yumichika. What were you looking at?"

"I was just making sure you didn't have boobs."

"Oh. Ok." pause. "Wait. What?"

"Women aren't allowed. It's kind of like an anti-women's shinigami league, since they won't let men in."

Silence.

"I suppose that makes sense."

"Yeah, I didn't get it much at first either."

Yumichika nodded slowly a moment in understanding before falling into silence once more.

"So, come on in Yumichika." Suzuka turned on his heel with the black haired shinigami in toe, he paused a moment at the doors and snatched what appeared to be a letter off of the door, before swiftly resuming his stride.

They walked down the corridors completely shrouded in the soft echoing of their footsteps and the smell of rose scented candles. A bright light soon flooded their vision as they entered a significantly brighter room.

It was quite lavish and well decorated, with red velvet couches and an expensive tea table, wall hangings of magnificent paintings, and scented candles bright and burning all around the room.

"Hey, Shishi, Kurama sent us another letter." Suzuka announced tossing the decorative envelope across the room to a blue haired man who sat in a velvet chair preening himself in an overly decorated silver and red hand mirror.

"Oh?" Without even glancing up he caught the letter with one fluid motion. He slipped his thumb underneath the seal of the envelope and snapped it open, finally taking a moment to look away from his reflection he pulled a neatly folded letter out and began to read aloud.

"_To my very much appreciated friends that this may concern,_

_I am sorry that I am once more unable to entertain you by attending your fascinating get together, but I must help my human mother around the house. You know, gardening, cleaning, shopping and the like. And after such small tasks I have promised to escort one of my class mates to lunch, then I must clean up for I will surely be filthy after such a long day, this will take many, many hours. So I am most regrettably unable to attend. Possibly next time, though I seem to be quite booked throughout the year, and quite possibly the next. I hope to hear from you soon, and hope that you are in the best of health. _

_Always,_

_Shuiichi Minamino"_

Suzuka quirked a single blond brow, "I do believe he's avoiding us."

"No Kurama wouldn't do that, he's too polite." Shishi responded simply

"Well he IS Yoko Kurama."

there was a pause.

"No. This was Shuiichi, he's the nice one, and he wouldn't do that"

"Fine, fine whatever you say." Suzuka paused. "Oh and before I forget, Shishi this is Yumichika, he came in response to our flier"

"Yumichika! He's worse than you! ESCAPE WHILE YOU CAN!"

The eleventh squad member jumped, "What was that?" He questioned, eyes quickly examining the room.

"Nothing." Suzuka responded promptly.

"But, that sounded like Byakuya-taichou."

"Oh no that was just miss twinkle toes being fussy again." Shishi announced, glancing toward Ayasekawa with a bit of a snippy aura around him.

"But...that was a guy." Yumi argued.

"Did I say it wasn't?" was the reply.

"But...wait...you called him--"

"Look, just because I call you a cupcake does that make you a cupcake?"

"Um, no."

"Good, then take a seat cupcake."

"You know my name isn--"

"Plant it _cupcake_."

The glare that Yumichika received from the ominous blue-haired male, somehow made him forget his sophistication momentarily and immediately drop onto the floor in a sitting position. Which in turn made Shishi quirk a slender brow.

"Were you raised in a barn? I meant in a chair."

A red blush quickly stained the fifth seat's face, as he wordlessly moved to a chair, embarrassed in his momentary lack of tact.

"FLEE AYASEKAWA! FLEE FOR YOUR LIFE!" The ever familiar voice came again.

A broad grin came to Shishi's lips, "That sounds to me like it's time for elections!" he exclaimed before hurriedly rushing through a doorway covered in a velvet sheet.

In this moment Yumichika took the opportunity to lean quietly over to Suzuka who had recently taken a seat next to him, and whispered the words, "is he always like that?"

"Unfortunately." came the irritable response.

Without another moment's hesitation Shishi came rushing back into the room pushing a grandiose chair with a seemingly calm Byakuya sitting in it, quickly. But, upon closer inspection Yumichika quickly noticed that the reason that Byakuya wasn't moving from that chair and leaving to do...Byakuya things, was that he had actually been handcuffed to said chair.

The fifth chair faltered momentarily as the sixth division Capitan was pushed to a stop.

"How did you manage to do that!?"

Shishi and Suzuka eyed him for a moment before their voices spoke in sync the words "we have our ways."

Shishi then hastily handed Ayasekawa a piece of paper and a pen, at which he stared at curiously.

"Write down who you want to be the leader of our organization. Then put it in the box on the table, your vote is the last one we need." Shishi explained snippilly as he pointed to the shiny silver ballot box sitting in the middle of the tea table.

"Oh—kay." Yumichika mumbled quickly scribbling his name quickly on the ballot and stuffing it in the box.

As soon as this was done Shishi clapped his hands together and dumped open the box and it's contents. Collecting the sheets of paper he began sorting them quickly, "Let's see, one for Suzuka, One for Cupcake, and one...two...three...four...five for me! I win!"

"Wait wait wait...how is that possible? There are only four of us." Suzuka challenged irritably.

"Well I took it upon myself to vote for Byakuya and our members of the future." was the quick explanation that was given.

"Wait why didn't you just ask Byakuya who he wanted to vote for?" Yumichika wondered aloud, causing for the other three to pause.

"Good point. Hey Byakuya who do you want to vote for?" Suzuka spoke as three sets of eyes locked on the trapped Capitan

He glanced between them, mentally determining the best way to save himself. That is, of course, when his eyes caught on to something shining and silver. Looking over quickly he watched as his blue-haired tormentor swung the key to his handcuffs around on his finger, whistling conspicuously as he did so.

That's when it was decided, there was only one way out.

"Shishi."

Suzuka and Yumichika faltered, glancing at the now innocent appearing deviant.

"You sure?" Suzuka challenged suspiciously.

"Of course." Byakuya replied calmly watching as Suzuka and Yumichika exchanged glances before shrugging in defeat. "Alright then."

"Good!" Shishi's hands clapped together before he flopped back down in his chair, "Now before we begin, does anyone have anything to say?"

Yumichika hesitantly raised his hand.

"Yes cupcake?"

"I think that we should get rid of all of the ugly people, or else the world would be really...ugly."

silence.

"Oh that's good." Shishi announced, "Cupcake you have been promoted to vice-president."

"Yes!"

"Hey! But—Hey!"

"Oh come now Suzuka can you think of something better?"

"Good point." Suzuka paused glaring at Yumichika, "Curse you cupcake."

"Hey that's Vice-President Cupcake Sir to you." Ayasekawa responded swiftly.

Byakuya's brow twitched as he stared in disbelief at the scene before him. _"Oh.My.God. Someone kill me...please."_

And this was Byakuya's torture for several weeks on end, somehow no one seemed to notice the absence of a fifth seat or a Capitan, which was quite strange really.

But, none the less he was trapped in that chair for weeks living off cookies and punch...he felt that they possibly had a vendetta against him that he could not remember instigating for this was the truest form of evil he had ever heard of.

Meanwhile

"Oi, Ikkaku..." The Eleventh division Capitan spoke his one eye glancing around the garden from his seat on the wooden floor as he crossed his arms, tapping his foot indigenously.

"Yes Taichou?"

"It's a bit odd but something seems missing round here."

"Missing sir?"

"Yeah, it seems less...I dunno...fruity..."

There was a pause.

"Fruity?"

"Yeah—that's it...'S where the fuck did Yumi go? I ain't seen 'im in about three an' a half weeks."

"Not sure Taichou."

"Yeah? Well go find the fucker...shits startin' to wreak 'round here."

"Ah—Yes Taichou!" Without another word Ikkaku was off to find his long since missing friend.

Considoring it all it wasn't that hard to find the frilly bastard, all you gotta do is follow the smell of way too much perfume...it had never failed him before. So the third seat eventually found himself in the presence of what was possibly the gayest thing he had ever seen.

Three grown ass men sitting around a table sipping tea from frilly tea cups with flowers on them, they were fuckin' _pink_ flowers too. And they were all just sitting there talking about being pretty and who was and was not pretty and all sorts of shit like that.

And there was Byakuya.

The famous Capitan was strapped to a chair...in the corner of the room...doing his best to eat some frilly ass flower cookies; with pink shit in the middle.

Yep...that was the last straw.

This HAD to be some kind of cultist, frilly, bondage fest. That HAD to be it. There was no other explanation...and it was just so hard to not stare.

And now he just couldn't hold back he had to say it...

"What the fuck Yumi!? S'ome fucked up shit you've gotten yourself all up in this time."

The men in the room stared at him, Shishi moving to a standing position. "Hm? Who let you in?" He took a half-glance toward Suzuka who shrugged innocently.

"Hey you told me to stay here."

Silence.

"Okay...your off the hook...this time."

"Heh...you wanna fight? Then let's go you aqua marine, mermaid wannabe with a bad poof." Yeah that'd piss him off, that lame ass shit always pissed of Yumichika so it was bound to get under this fucker's skin.

But he wasn't really expecting for a big ass metal comb to hit him in the eye.

"FUCK!!" Ikkaku shouted bouncing back a moment and rubbing his eye, "What the fuck was that!?" he glowered angrily at the offender rubbing at his abused eye furiously.

"Now...pick it up and bring it back."

Pause.

"You just HIT me with it."

"It touched you last."

"That doesn't mean I'm gonna get it for you"

"Well, I only threw it because you insulted me, now I have no reason to throw anything at you, so if you give it back I won't throw anything else."

There was another pause as Ikkaku thought over his options. Thinking he may not want to risk what ever ELSE that man could have hiding in his clothes, flying at his face...he decided to cautiously return the object.(In hindsight it had not been his best idea)

For as soon as he handed over the steal object, a very unpleasant hand mirror came crashing into his skull.

"Shit!" he shouted unsheathing his weapon and taking a quick swipe at the blue haired bastard, who only took to jumping away.

"The fuck!?"

"What? I only said wouldn't _throw _something, I said nothing about hitting."

"That was a cheap move."

"Yes well, who'ever said I needed to play nice?"

"Che."

three hours later

Ikkaku came stumbling into the eleventh division headquarters looking to be quite a mess, all bloodied and bruised with red marks indicating bruises which had yet to form. And for those who did not know the goings on which had transpired those marks could be seen as very suspicious.

And his Capitan was probably not the one he needed to see him in such a mess either.

"Oi...Ikkaku, the fuck happened to you?" Kenpachi questioned looking over his disheveled third seat curiously.

"Taichou...I am so _confused_--" he began only to be met with a disturbed glance from his Capitan, who seemed to have made a bad conclusion.

He silently stared at his third seat a moment.

"Stay away from me."

And just as swiftly as he had come Kenpachi had dissapeard leaving a slightly confused subordinate behind.

"...wait. Huh?"

Eventually, if not soon Yumichika and Byakuya-taichou were returned, neither willing to discuss where they had been for the past month.

If confronted yumi would only mention something about dominatrix presidents and cupcakes, vaguely and in such a way that no one WANTED to know.

And Byakuya? Well he wouldn't talk to anyone for a week, and even when he did try to speak it would come out as a slur about some vow to never eat cookies again.

END.


End file.
